microblogging massive ideas
This conversation didn’t actually take place but it could have.
Last week, friends and I were discussing µblogging in the pub. Well not µblogging exactly but two ladies had recently discovered Facebook and were talking about the pros and cons of this wonderful social network.
One lady said: ‘Oh and another thing - I really don’t like the ‘Jenny is…’ status update. I just don’t get it.’
The other lady replied ‘Yeah - that bit is stupid. I am hardly going to write down ‘Marilyn is…just off to Asda for the weekend shop’.
I then interjected: ‘But you don’t have to put down minutiae after the ‘is…’ part’. You can put anything. For example, I might choose to write
‘Norman is….seriously considering jacking his job in, pursuing his dream and opening a record shop’.
They looked at me as though as I was mad. My mate sighed and said ‘Right - who’s up for another ?’
Jenny stared at me as though I had two heads and said ‘What ? You’re going to open a record shop ? In these tense and difficult times. Are you serious ?’
celebrities on Twitter
'Anyone suffering from the desire to communicate what they are doing or thinking every minute of the day in fewer than 140 characters is best described as a twat.'
Janet Street Porter calling me a 'twat'. Possibly my proudest moment.
I prefer to define µblogging as 'an infinite byte stream of inane drivel' but I also enjoyed Stephen Fry's post on the same subject:
'40% of Twitter is “pointless babble”, which means of course that a full 60% of Twitter discourse is NOT pointless babble, which is disappointing.'
strategies for making friends on social networks
Early Jurassic - Mum takes you to playgroup, kicking and screaming and your friends are forced upon you. Free milk at 11 am.
Cretaceous - Primary school. You go round to Robert's for tea and Robert comes round to your house for tea. Painfully shy in female company.
Middle Monolithic - Secondary school - you hang out with the kids who play football and avoid those who threaten you with knives at the bus stop.
Triassic - Football, gigs, pubs. The best time of your life. With the best friends of your life. None of them will ever do FaceBook but that doesn't matter.
Late Mesozoic - University - no real strategy here. If someone stands their round, then that's good enough.
Web 0.1 (alpha) - Usenet, flame fests, email using elm on an amber VT100. Avoid people who use VMS at all costs.
Web 1.0 - IRC is just like a Friday night in the pub. There will be fights at closing time.
Web 1.0 - surf the internet, send large attachments (amusing photos) to colleagues every Friday afternoon.
Web 2.0 - social networking. Accept blindly absolutely any friend request. Approach complete strangers and ask them to be your 'special friends'. Friendship isn't friendship - it's a bragging contest.
Web 2.0 (beta) - Follow Scoble's example and be slightly more selective. Cull thousands of so-called 'friends' in futile attempt to avoid information overload.
Web 3.0 - Twitter - the endless, interminable byte stream of inane drivel. Until Stephen Fry signs up which makes it all alright. Stalk celebrities.
Web 3.0 RC3 - Finally it dawns on you.
- People on Posterous mainly like talking about Posterous
- People on FriendFeed mainly like singing the praises of FriendFeed.
- People on Twitter mainly like talking about Twitter. Repeat ad infinitum.
- People on identi.ca love identi.ca and open source and despise the evil borg.
- People in UK tend to have more friends in the UK
- You are on first names terms with the developers of Disqus and they fix stuff - just for you.
- If you're a keen photographer, try Flickr.
- If you like football, seek out people who like football.
- If someone Like's a post/tweet you wrote, it's possible (but not certain) you will like their outputs.
- If someone lives on your road, it doesn't mean they're your friend. There's a good reason you haven't had your neighbours round for coffee since last Christmas.
- If people actively dislike your output, it is less likely they will be a good friend.
- If people say 'Great, interesting, thought provoking post', it's likely they are trying to sell you a 'Penis Enlargement Kit' (or worse).
Web 4.0 - The end of the world. Social Networking dies and we all adjourn to the pub (again) and play board games.
the wit and wisdom of Darren Bent
A sheet of A4. Blank. Completely blank.
I don't know which is worse. Being rejected by Darren Bent. Or hearing the news via Twitter.
'“Do I wanna go Hull City NO. Do I wanna go stoke NO do I wanna go sunderland YES'.
Unfortunately, Darren's twitter account 'db10thetruth' has miraculously been closed.
mystery man
There's only one man in the world who could have uttered the following:
'On Monday I unfollowed 106,000 people on Twitter.'
Yes. You guessed it - Robert Scoble.
And yes, before you ask, he used a script.